I feel miserable all the time
I feel miserable all the time and I hate it.
Text posted by "murder for hire" on a Medical forum on depression, Sun Jul 12, 2009
About half a year ago / late 2008 I always felt happy. I had a high self esteem , there was hope. I had my self control and anger in check 100%. Everything was good. Towards april I noticed that I started to lose it. I was beginning to feel slightly depressed and as time went on I noticed it only got worse. It just came out of the blue , nothing triggered it.
Whenever I get angry I want to damage something. I have had this anger before for years, but it's at its prime now. Throw, punch, stab or shoot, that includes people to. People that give me a hard time. I grew a revenge-streak . Anyone that pisses me off , I can't feel even until I yell in their face or shove them around. Even afterwards I don't feel good. Sometimes I feel like killing them and taking myself. Life is too long to just end it like that, but that's what I feel like doing, everyday.
Nothing makes me feel happy. I tried everything. I feel a tight knot in my chest a lot and I always have a frown . Smiling is hard to do unless if there's something funny to laugh at, even then I feel like crap a minute after.
